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About a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud—a game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions.On the episode of the daytime game show she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the contestants to answer a rather loaded statement: “Name a reason a woman might decide to be with a chubby [or fat] man.” This, as one might imagine, ends up being a rather humorous round for the contestants, Steve Harvey, and the audience.

Why else would someone who could presumably get with anyone they wanted choose to be with a disgusting fat man, right?This kind of thought is extremely damaging for a lot of fat men, placing all of their value as people into the money or power they may or may not have.While there are, of course, some people who only seek relationships for money or power, the truth of the matter is that quite often, people will choose to be with a fat man because they actually want to be with him.This myth is much less often applied to skinny or “fit” men, unless of course that person is known to have money or power.But it’s much easier for people to understand two skinny/traditionally attractive people being together because they’re attracted to each other than when a skinny/traditionally attractive person chooses to be with a fat man for other, less superficial reasons.With this myth, we have an example of how people attempt to take the agency away from fat people, and really people in general.

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